C is for CPAP
by MariatheWordsmith
Summary: After a late night CPAP encounter, will Roy and Johnny ever be able to look at a certain land mammal the same way again?


Roy shined his flashlight through the well-trimmed backyard. He jumped the fence and looked in the house's windows. "Fire Department!" he yelled again. He and Johnny had been dispatched to the welfare check. So far, no one was answering. They couldn't just leave, what if the guy died trying to dial the operator? He pushed his helmet back, readjusting it. He looped back to the front to catch up with Johnny. When they met at the front door, he asked his younger partner, "Did you see anything?" Johnny shook his head. "We're going to have to break in the door." Roy said.

"Wait, is that an open window?" Johnny pointed. Roy looked and shined his flashlight over in that direction. He smiled, it was indeed an open window. Johnny walked up to it and shone the flashlight inside, "Fire Department!" he yelled. From inside, they heard a thud and a grunt.

"Fire Department, are you okay?" Roy said in concern. There was silence. Johnny and Roy looked at each other and shrugged. Mentally they were deciding their next plan of action. Wait or break down the door. Before either of them came to a decision, the door frantically opened.

"Is there a fire?" a man asked muffled. He was wearing a CPAP mask and wearing just his underwear.

Both John and Roy looked the man up and down, stifled a smile and replied, "No. There's no fire." Roy said, trying to calm the man.

"Did you call paramedics?" Johnny asked. The man shook his head vehemently, his CPAP hose dangling like an elephant trunk. Johnny actually bit the inside of his lip in an effort not to laugh. "You must have knocked your phone off the stand and it went through to the operator." John said, valiantly trying to remain professional.

"I didn't know it even did that." the underwear clad man replied, still oblivious to his appearance.

"It's a new safety feature, operators used to just hang up but now they call us." Roy explained, taking pity on the man they awoke for no apparent reason. "Well, call us if you need us." he said, turning around, trying to end the late-night conversation.

"Sorry to bother you." the elephant man said.

"Not a problem." Roy replied for the both of them. After taking a quick glance at Johnny, he aptly observed John should keep his mouth shut.

After what felt like forever, the equipment was stored away in the squad and the two paramedics were safe in the cab. Roy flicked the emergency lights off and they looked at each other, promptly bursting into laughter. Hard enough it wasn't safe for Roy to drive. "He looked, he looked like an elephant." Roy managed to get out, which started the two laughing all over again.

Johnny wiped the tears from his eyes then hiccupped. "Oh man," he said, hand grasping his chest. "That hurt." Roy wiped his eyes and drove off, still chuckling.

The next day, Jenny's school happened to have a field trip planned to the Zoo. Roy had volunteered to chaperone. He also volunteered, well 'voluntold', his partner. Johnny outwardly grumbled, but was actually excited. He had never been to the zoo, off duty that is. He preferred to observe the animals from behind their enclosures, as opposed to in them. He pulled the list of animals they were going to see out of his pocket. His eye flew to the fourth on the list. _"Nooo."_ he thought, last night's memories still fresh on his mind. He glanced at Roy and held up four fingers. Roy pulled out his list and looked. He paused, and his eyes lit up, the list read _'4. Elephants'._ Johnny watched him bite his lip. Roy carefully folded his list, desperately trying to not think of their own elephant man. Johnny copied his partner and pocketed it his own list. His attempt to not laugh finally failed. He snorted, desperately trying to turn it into a believable cough.

"You okay Uncle Johnny?" a small voice asked. Jenny, Roy and Joann's daughter, looked up in concern.

"I'm just fine Jenny Bean." he replied, swallowing his laughter. She took his word and skipped back to join her friends. He decided that he probably shouldn't look at his partner for the rest of the day if he wanted to keep a straight face.

As they came to the elephant enclosure, Roy did his best not to look at Johnny or the mammals in question and remain the professional the school knew him as. Seeing the large animal's trunks in the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but look at Johnny. Johnny was staring at the schedule as if it offered the answer to life, diligently trying not to look back at him. Roy smirked and distracted himself by counting kid's heads, making sure everyone was there. They were. He dared a glance back at Johnny. They caught each other's eyes and immediately looked down, biting their tongues hard enough to draw blood. Roy heard Johnny splutter and he did the same. _"I bet we look absolutely insane." he_ thought. He heard small steps walk up to him.

"Daddy, are you okay?" his daughter asked him.

"I'm fine honey, why do you ask?" he asked curious.

"You and Uncle Johnny keep coughing, like when I'm sick."

Roy smirked, "We're okay, go look at the ele-" he stopped, he couldn't say the word, not without falling apart. "Go look at the animals." he lamely finished instead.

Thankfully, the field trip ended. Roy and Johnny had managed to keep it somewhat together, albeit painfully. The minute they closed the doors to Roy's car in the school parking lot, the pair burst into laughter again. "We've really gotta stop doing this." Johnny gasped.

"I know," Roy replied smiling, "Jenny's favorite animals are elephants." The two looked at each other in mirth. "This'll be fun to explain to Jo." Roy added. Johnny laughed as Roy drove back to his house.

"Just be thankful _she_ doesn't wear a CPAP!" were Johnny's worthless words of advice.


End file.
